23.12.09

Pretty wallpaper. I’m not sure the difference matters in the end. I’m not painting to study how light changes across the form from cool light to warm shadow. I’m not concerned with likeness and realism. I’m searching for something that will move me, perhaps looking for a mood and a place that will let me forget myself, the place I’m in. I’m interested in images that allow me to get lost in a meditative, slow and contemplative way. “Getting lost” and raising one’s awareness seem to be at odds with each other but I’m looking for moments where they might intersect.

I’ve become interested in aberrations in eyesight. Whether it’s caused by fatigue, physical defects or outside influences, these hallucinations can be a place of fear, discomfort and limitation. It’s a condition that has a large gap between fact of what is and the internal experience of the individual. Personally, when I am less able to decipher what I cannot fully see, or hear for that matter, the more I make things up. It’s a gap filling habit, but I find it comforting and entertaining.

This painting is inspired by taking a shower. When my eyes are wet, the glass door is steamy, and my eyeglasses are on the counter. It’s not an abstract color field. It’s an illustration of accepting the limitations of poor eyesight. I wanted to love the experience of random blindness which I suppose is easier when it’s temporary. It’s a metaphor for finally falling in love with the limitations of life. Everything is temporary.